I Did Something Manly Today

I only mention it because my life is actually very sissy. I ride a motorcycle...which is purple. I can manage 63 push ups...but my wife can do 65. I'm stylish and urbane...despite the fact that I've got the body of a 14 year old girl with clicky shoes. And I've been on more dates with men in the past month than I have been on with my wife in the last two years. Now, I know you're all thinking, "Dude, you're really messed up." And you're right, except that today I did something manly and totally redeemed myself.

It started with my wife calling to tell me that she was stuck in a parking lot with the Bubba and the car wouldn't start. She was all, "Can you help me here?" and I was all like, "Hang on a minute, I'm getting a Starbucks" and her brain was all, "Why did you marry this guy?" and she was all, "Not sure" and I was like, "Okay...got my Frapuccino...where u at?" and she was all "Longs parking lot. What should I do? and I was like, "slurp. uh. slurp. hmmm. slurp." and she like, totally took over and was all, "Just meet me here. I'm calling AAA." and I was like, "Sweet."

(Chicks man. Totally helpless. Think about it. Without my man-knowledge, my wife and the Bubba would still be stranded in the parking lot, and this Martini would be SO much harder to enjoy right now.)

Jenn called me as I was on my way to rescue her, and told me that the AAA guy jumped her and I was all like, "Oh no he di-n't, that son of a...." (I was shaking my head and snapping my finger back and forth and stuff) But it turns out that if your battery is dead, another car can connect their battery to yours via cables and make your car battery come alive for a while. It's called "jumping." File that under, "good to know." So Jenn drove home and waited for me to save the day.

On my way home, I stopped at the car store and told them that I needed a battery. They were all like, "For what car?" I could tell that they totally thought I wouldn't know because when I walked in, my shoes were clicking and stuff. But I like, TOTALLY proved them wrong. I was all like, "2002 Hyundai Santa Fe." And I just looked the guy right in the eyes when I said it too. Just to intimidate him. He said, "Okay, we've got that" and I was all, "That's right you do."

When I got home I popped the hood and took out the old battery and replaced it with the new one. And that's for real. I used wrenches. Minor sulfuric acid burns. But I got all greasy and dirty WHILE wearing my dress shirt and clicky shoes. How's that for dichotomy?

Side note: Like Jenn mentioned in the earlier post, we're leaving tomorrow morning for Northern California. Not sure how much posting will be going on in the next five days. Depends on how much stupid stuff I do while we're up there with my in-laws. If you've been following this blog for any length of time, you'll know the chances are pretty good.

Toodles.